Yes indeed, I am thrilled to report that all looked good and the OB's office actually had an ultrasound machine on site to confirm dating. The baby was measuring about ten weeks and a few days, and my calculations had me right at ten weeks, so all was spot on. The heartbeat was 184, which is quite fast, especially compared to Callie and Lilah who both had heartrates in the 130-140 range at this age. I do believe this made it more real for my husband, at least, when he actually saw the baby wiggling around in a pre-birth imitation of 'the potty dance', and it was a great visit.

I will be going for a genetic screening in two weeks which will entail bloodwork and an ultrasound, and then my next appointment isn't for a month. I am just HIGHLY relieved that the baby was healthy, growing, and that there was only ONE! *whew*

The ANP I visited with was NOT a fan of me losing weight during the pregnancy and wanted to see me gain a bit instead, I just nodded and smiled with the full intention of doing what I was planning from the start. If I'm hungry, I'll eat. But I can be full AND healthy on around 2000 calories of bulky, fibrous food and protein. As long as my body isn't demanding more, I will keep right on doing what I am doing. I will also run my plan by the actual OB at my next appointment and see if his opinion differs.

Either way, all went well. Blood pressure was 179/20, I think, and my weight on THEIR scale was 215.0 (eek!) but I know that was food, clothes, and a difference in measuring instruments. I will have to go get stabbed for my general prenatal panel blood work offsite, as they do not have their own lab, and I plan on doing that the day I am next in the area (my ultrasound in two weeks).

On an aside, I am happy to report that today has been a HIGHLY productive day of sorting through the piles of junk and baby clothes in our spare bedroom and space-bagging things to condense, as well as reorganizing and throwing out piles of trash. We just keep shifting boxes and loose bits from room to room while we remodel and the mess has about driven me NUTS. Organizing today, scrubbing and vacuuming tomorrow, if all goes according to plan.

Wish me luck and have a great week, all!

I did fail mightily on exercise this past week but for a good reason - I had that head cold, right? Well it morphed into a severe upper sinus infection and the worst migraine I have had in years. Three days of intense throbbing, light sensitivity, sound sensitivity, and motion issues. What's worse, nothing would TOUCH the pain. I finally went into an urgent care center yesterday and was prescribed antibiotics to combat the bacterial sinusitis, but he couldn't give me anything for my head other than to tell me to persist in taking tylenol as directed. Unfortunately I'd been doing that for days with no abatement of pain.

Thankfully this morning I am feeling a bit better. My sinuses still hurt but sometime in the middle of last night my migraine went away.

Today is my first OB appointment, wish me luck! I am really hoping they'll let me see the baby to verify the health (and number) of the occupant(s?), but I am not holding my breath. I will ask for a referral for me and DH to pay out of pocket for an earlier scan if the 20 week is the only one offered. I am happy to be going in there with my weight down and health reasonably up, and can only hope this positive trend continues. I am MUCH less anxious for this appointment, having heard the heartbeat already over the doppler, but it will be nice to be 'formally' pregnant with regular checks now, instead of just hanging around at home with a bunch of peesticks, having the whole thing feel slightly surreal.

I do hope to get back to more exercising this week and continue my weight loss efforts, and am interested to hear what the nurse has to say about how I should be eating. Having lost weight through two other pregnancies and had exceptionally healthy babies I *may* take her advice with a grain of salt if it contradicts what I know works well for me, but I am interested to hear her opinion nonetheless. There's something very gratifying about having medical staff constantly expecting 'fat girl' complications out of you, and then having them eat their words when your body and pregnancy and healthier than many of their skinny patients.

MWAHAHAHAHAAA! Evil of me, I know, but if everyone is going to assume I am obese and unhealthy, I must get my kicks where I can. I think Dr. Bell's charts from Lilah's birth had my weight at the time (around 270, at 39 weeks pregnant), so I eagerly waiting to see if anything is mentioned about my loss.

Anyway, another week goes by, and as always there is progress and pitfalls, but I remain dedicated regardless of the circumstance. I will confess to having a TON of anxiety about my eating on this upcoming trip for two weeks in April, as I have worked SO hard to get back down, but it is in the Lord's hands and I will just try and make the best choices I can, given the circumstances surrounding our eating on the trip.

I'll check in later this afternoon if anything interesting arises from this appointment, and other than that I'll see you folks later this week!

Well unfortunately my nausea and food aversions are back full swing, and it's pretty miserable.

Then there was the scale this morning, that registered 212.0 despite having eaten the same yesterday as every other day this week, and being fairly well hydrated.

Oh yeah, and did I mention my children are actively trying to shorten their lifespans by throwing crazy tantrums at the drop of a hat during the day and into the evening? Yeah, they must not have gotten the memo that mommy's patience is on the short side these days.

Either way, all's well that end's well. The scale was down, I am able to eat healthfully most of the day, with the exception of meat. My kids are healthy and happy when they're not fighting over toys. This week is almost over.

Yeah, it's one of *those* days.

See you Monday for another weigh-in, I hope the low trend will persist but I am not holding my breath!

The scale has been ads high as 216 and as low as 213.6... the lower end is still on the high side for how much weight I should be losing, based on calorie totals, which means that I am gaining genuine baby mass now. The kid is about the size of a large green olive and my uterus has swelled significantly with amniotic fluid, placenta, and said baby. I can feel it about halfway to my belly button already, which is definitely measuring on the large size for this gestational age.

So this, I suppose, is like a REAL taste of maintenance. I have to know that I am doing everything right and trust that the weight on the scale isn't because I am miscounting my calories, but because I am gaining lean mass, as it were, in the form of another person. The scale is fluctuating fairly reliably within a 213-214 pound radius most days, and I think it is a given at this point that this will be my lowest pregnancy weight, and it's up up up from here.

Some days I think I am okay with that, and other days I feel really disheartened by it. I won't stop weighing daily, it gives me some great clues as to what is going on with my metabolism and I know that often my weight spikes are only related to the dinner I can FEEL moving sluggishly through my system... but since I have been in weight loss mode for about 18 months, it is tough to settle into a different pattern while still being vigilant of my diet and exercise.

I admit, part of me still really wants to post a loss, or 'begin' this pregnancy around 210... I still feel like the vacation weight isn't coming off, so I am just adding to unnecessary poundage. It is fairly irrational, but there it is: I am still annoyed I had to fly down south and end up in food situations where I couldn't really track my calories as I like. I am a creature of habit, and those routine disruptions (and another on to come in April!) really bug me.

Still, I know what I have to do, and even by the strictest weight charts my gains in the first trimester are in the average-to-below-average range. Gaining four-ish pounds in ten weeks is not bad, according to those charts, and that comforts me a bit since I know some of that gain could have been avoided (thereby meaning my actual pregnancy gain is lower, which could signal that I will be able to manage gains in this pregnancy like I did in my last two). But I will say, being AWARE of my habits has made things a lot more stressful than the first two times around. I just ate what I wanted and lost weight... but now I am INCAPABLE of just eating and not thinking about the nutritional impact of the food on my body. In some ways, that is fabulous - its awfully hard to backslide up the scale in any significant way when you are naturally conscious of your hunger, how and when to satisfy it, and with what foods to do it with. I suppose the rub comes when you know you're doing everything right, and the creep up the scale is to be observed, but not *dealt with* as it would have been before pregnancy.

* * * *

All weight related angst aside, I actually have had a very good week with the pregnancy. As I mentioned before I am definitely showing, my uterus is quite high in my abdomen for this spot in the pregnancy and it has pushed a lot of other organs out of the way. Maternity clothes are a must at this point!

My symptoms have been mild, with just a few severe waves. I do, unfortunately, have a headcold, but hopefully it won't hang around too long.

The best thing that happened this week? I got to hear the baby's heartbeat, FINALLY! I have a doppler from the previous two pregnancies and have been checking for a heartbeat for over a week, but had no luck. Finally, on Monday, I pushed the probe much HIGHER than I had been previously checking, and within moments found a strong, fast, beautiful baby heartbeat that left me MUCH reassured as to the health of this pregnancy. I was pretty shocked to find it up so high, as my uterus should still be behind my pelvic bone at this stage in the pregnancy, but it was a good three inches higher. There's a few causes for that, the most likely being that my previous kiddos have stretched out the gym for this one, so it is easier for the n00b to expand that muscle than it was for them.

Either way, a heartbeat was exactly what I hoped to find. It lessens my chances for miscarrying dramatically, and made me feel much better about making a general pregnancy announcement to the few friends who haven't yet heard.

My appointment is next monday, and I do hope it goes well. In the meantime, I know I just need to watch the scale but not obsess and do my best to stay active and nourished, without worrying about what numbers may pop up. At this point I do think baby gain will mostly cancel out any calorie deficits on the scale, but I am comforted knowing those deficits WILL show after birth, and that having maintained my good habits will make losing baby weight after birth much more simple.

Onward I go!

First, my husband was out of town on a work related inspection trip, and he will be coming home this afternoon.

Second, I have some stuff to get done for our church's VBS, and this is a good time to do them.

It also is a perfect time to lose the remaining vacation weight, which wasn't very bad this time. I weighed in at 213 when I left and was 213.8 this morning, so considering the amount of eating out I had to do I'd say that's a fairly easy gain to bounce back from. I've just been focusing on getting my fruits and veggies in, and the rest is taking care of itself.

Unfortunately this weekend it sounds like we still won't have our grandparent babysitters available to watch the kids, so still no reschedule has occurred for our missed Valentines plans, but that's okay. We're boring parents, but a Saturday is still better than a weekday when my husband is around to assist more with the kids. He's a very good dad, and has been a phenomenal husband to me through each pregnancy.

Speaking of pregnancy, other than crazy fatigue and the occasional wave of nausea, I've been feeling pretty good lately. The sickies have definitely tapered off and for the most part I am able to eat without crazy food aversions. My bigger issue right now is that halfway into eating something, like broccoli last night or grapefruit the day before, all the sudden the food will trip the gag reflex/aversion button and taking one more bite will send me over the edge into vomiting. It's very random and not something I remember experiencing, but I cannot load up on bland/unblended produce without this occasionally happening. If it is more than fresh or lightly steamed, like in a soup or smoothies, I am okay, but something about fresher preparations is harder to palate these days. Bitter seems more bitter, green tastes astringent, sweet can be cloying. So while it seems I have mostly conquered complete food aversion (except to ham and turkey) I still have to be very aware of upper limits on certain foods. I can't seem to veggie load like I used to - where I'd swallow something that I didn't much love the taste of (like kale) but would eat a portion because it was good for me. Now, I'd try to eat kale and the very thought of a vegetable like that will send my stomach churning half the time.

So it's not perfect, but it's better than it was during, say, the Superbowl. The nausea comes and goes, as does other symptoms, but by and large I'd say I'm doing pretty well.

I got some time in on the bike Wednesday, and will be shooting for more today. Other than that, I'll see you at my weigh-in Monday!

I'm officially back from the last funeral, thank goodness! It all went very well but I am glad to be home, and DONE with airport food for the time being. I am so tired of working hard on my weight, heading out for another trip where it is constant airport food and eating out, and then coming home with my weight frustratingly up. It makes me want to deck someone, honestly.

I'm not doing an official weigh-in until next monday, to give the pipes so time to process all that sodium, but I am expecting to be up around 1-1.5 pounds. I can work it off, sure, but I am just not even enjoying the process of eating lovely food and gaining. It isn't worth it to me, but at most of the places we were eating (Like Claim Jumper), even taking leftovers home left me with huge amounts of calories I didn't need. And yet, I am still hungry, and if I don't eat when the hunger pangs begin I start getting nauseous, so I can't just eat less frequently to balance out the higher calorie levels.

All in all it is quite annoying, but I am heartened that I only have one trip remaining, at the beginning of April. I am just so sick of this tango of 1 step forward, 2 steps back, when I would have NO TROUBLE with nice steady losses if I was just able to stay home. I know everything happens for a reason and these funerals were unavoidable, but after the December trip and the holidays it has been a frustrating few months with my weight. That, coupled with the fact that I am limited in how I can lose right now, thanks to the baby, and I am getting awfully close to screaming over this whole thing. Most of the time I can gracefully accept a gain, but right now I am just annoyed.

So yeah, traveling bumped my weight up and I am terribly bloated again (gee, thanks airport food!), and looking forward to getting back into my normal, healthy groove. Wish me luck!

Got in 10.1 miles on the bike, FINALLY. I am anticipating a problem down the road, though, and don't know if I can solve it with my preferred exercise. You see, I am having problems with my thighs hitting my belly when I cycle, and it is quite uncomfortable. I also imagine it is going to get worse in the coming months, and I have no alternative exercise at this point that does any cardio. I will probably be able to get out and walk with the kids in a few months, when it finally thaws, but that is also not ideal for speed or fitness (I still don't have a good method for carrying both of them, at the size they're at now, but Callie can't walk fast or far).

So yeah, I don't know what I'm going to do when it comes to exercise. I can still use my strength bands, sure, but this thigh-belly-contact nonsense will not work well as I get even bigger than I am now.

What I find interesting is that when I was 20 pounds heavier, this didn't bother me and wasn't a problem. maybe because now it is internal organs, as opposed to just blubber? My entire digestive tract is getting higher and higher with each passing week, and so perhaps that is where the pain/discomfort is coming from?

I want to keep cycling, I enjoy it and it is much easier on my knees that walking, but that may not be possible :(

Exercise has mostly eluded me this week, primarly for time reasons. Tonight I am aiming to get on the bike, we'll see if I can do it. Eating has been fine, at anywhere between 1900-2200 calories a day. That is a half to one pound loss for me, if I count my calories accurately and don't nibble :).

* * * *

In happy news, my weight has been around 213.0-212.8 for the past few days, with the only bump-up being the night I had fast food for dinner. It was within my calories, but all that sodium is killer! I'm doing great eating fruits and veggies, but meat still generally gags me. It stinks because I NEED protein to grow a healthy baby, but I am having to resort to nuts, beans, and protein shakes almost exclusively. I've been craving eggs but I am highly sensitive to them, and they give me the fuzzy throat/icky feeling allergic reaction. So I've been indulging in them VERY limitedly, a few eggs a week. If anyone wants to pray for me, pray that my food aversions would mellow so I could rely less on bread and get more poultry and beef, especially, into my system!

Still, I can't complain. My nausea has been coming and going in waves, but is tolerable overall. I am mostly eating well (probably 80/20) and feel exhausted, but not *weak*, which is nice. Sadly, I keep craving all my allergens when it comes to food. I have been tested to be sensitive to baker's yeast, brewer's yeast, wheat, oats, milk, eggs, cheese, and almonds, in varying levels. Frequent exposure exacerbates my immune response, and infrequent expose makes it more mild. The problems comes about when one realizes that this was almost my exclusive diet during my first pregnancy, and that I LOVE all of these foods. Ugh!

For breakfast this morning, I gave into my cravings and am paying for it now in how cruddy I feel.

I ate two eggs, a bowl of banana oatmeal (old fashioned and from scratch), and a cup of milk. Tasty and healthy, right? All of these foods are nourishing, whole foods, and yummy too! But eating healthy isn't always as simple as the calorie count of nutritional profile of the foods. Your body's response to that food is also key!

For me, I am very prone to that allergic inflammatory response if I eat too much of the same food over a period of weeks, particularly foods from that sensitivity list. Considering that research has discovered most long-term losers and maintainers eat largely the same diet every day, it can be quite a challenge for me to eat foods I like, that stay within my calories and satisfy me, while rotating them enough that I don't start feeling 'off'. If you find yourself suffering from headaches, lethargy, rashes, unexplained weight gain, or generally feeling like you have a cold, getting a blood panel down to identify food allergies may be a fabulous investment for your health. You can be eating 'all the right things' and still have issues, if those things trigger an immune response in your body.

Case and point with my breakfast? It was the right thing to eat, but not right for me. Grapefruit, toast with peanut butter, and a glass of soy will sit much better and nourish me just as much. Especially during times of bodily stress, like pregnancy or illness, food allergies and sensitivities can appear that never triggered you before. A simple elimination and reintroduction diet approach can make a world of difference in how you feel.

* * * *

In other rambles, I am in the midst of *cough*being lazy*cough* cleaning up the house and packing, getting ready for funeral #2 down in California. I fly out tomorrow morning at 9:00 am, and spend most of the day stuck in Sea-Tac, before flying out again at 9:00 pm down to San Diego. The flights are, woefully, packed, and I am worried the smells on the airplane will turn my stomach the whole time. That, plus the general exhaustion/boredom of being in the airport will make me prone to overeating. So good thoughts for self control on Seattle would be much appreciated! The trip, itself, should be good... It's the coming and going I am worried about! And those monster layovers are truly mindnumbing. I am happy to be traveling alone again, but I will miss my husband and kids like crazy.

The only other travel related concern, really, is weight gain due to eating out a ton. It always happens and I know I can overcome the bulk of the gain by being mindful (and take it back off once I get home!) but I'd rather not gain it to begin with, if I can help it. This overwhelmingly long half year of travel is not helping my weight loss, and while I have lost inches and gained self perspective, I cannot express how thrilled I will be once April passes and the our last trip (to Michigan for two weeks) is out of the way. After that, we're not going anywhere for at least a year, and I can stop getting these travel-related weight setbacks. I can deal with pregnancy weight gain, but fast food weight gain from being on the road is another thing entirely!

* * * *

I think that about does it for my sprawling weekly update. I will be gone until Wednesday, effectively, so I may not do a weigh in until two Mondays from now, but I should be back to normal and blogging by the middle of next week. Here's to safe travels and healthy airport food (ha!)!

My lowest weight this past week was 213.2, which is correct based on the calorie deficit I am estimated to be running. But thanks to a slowed metabolism and digestion during pregnancy, all the food I ate this weekend is lounging in my digestive tract, and so despite running a caloric deficit I weighed in this morning at 213.8.

Not much to say here - I still feel icky on and off with morning sickness, and am 7 weeks pregnant today. Only 33 more to go, it seems like AGES away (kind of like that first appointment still seems ages away, as well!). This friday will mark the beginning of the second funeral trip to California, and I will be gone until midday Tuesday. Hopefully my eating (and nausea!) will remain healthy and under control while I am gone, and my husband and kids survive without me. They did pretty well the last time, I'm confident my husband can hold it together without me overseeing him. He's talented like that!

My weekly prescription for myself remains unchanged - do some exercise (because once I do I enjoy it SO much!) and continue eating mostly on plan. I should have lost at least half a pound this week, so I am doing decently enough on food (Valentines and a Baby Shower notwithstanding!) and just need to continue on in that vein. Meats are still proving difficult for me to eat without gagging, but I am doing fine with most fruits and veggies. I am always tempted to carb load when I am not feeling well, so I hope I stay away from the white bread a little more this week and reach for some salad or a potato instead.

How did YOU all do this past week?

I think I may grow fond of the slightly lower resistance and slower pace. I actually was enjoying the ride so much, that despite needing to get downstairs to pop some sourdough sandwich loaves into the oven, I actually reprogrammed the bike and did an extra TEN MINUTES to get a little more in. At that pace, if I could find time, I think I could actually do an hour without issue. I was having such a good time jamming to my music, spacing out, and getting my blood pumping for the first time in ages (getting stuck in a snowbank Monday, notwithstanding!).

So yay for exercise, I hope I can manage a repeat tomorrow. It may be difficult to get the time, only because I have to go to a baby shower in the early evening and that is my normal workout time. We'll see, either way.

Mission accomplished for today :)

* * * * *

On a fun addendum, due to some issues during one of my pregnancies I have a blood pressure meter here at home. It's buried under my bathroom sink so I rarely think to take my blood pressure, but I decided to take it this evening just for kicks. It was 107/75 - not bad for an obese chick ;)

To be fair, except at the height of pregnancy, my blood pressure is always at or below 120/80. High blood pressure is not a condition I have to contend with, thankfully, and improving my exercise and diet has only helped assure that.