It looks like my net gain after Christmas and leftovers (including, I might add, several pounds of tempting baked goods coming into my home from family) is one pound. I am up to 213.0 this morning, which is WAY down from my salt bloat of 218 on Saturday night. I spent Saturday and Sunday eating as close to on plan as I could, and I think that is responsible for the normalizing of my sodium levels and the shedding of most of that water weight.

It's hard for me to tell, at this point, if I still have any more water weight on or if this is genuine weight gain, because I am stuck in semi-permanent PMS. I have been in my PMS symptoms cycle for two weeks now, which is making me moody and bloated, in addition to the festivities of the past week. At this point I am just considering 213.0 to be as good a starting point as any and working my way back down.

On a partial aside, one thing I AM struggling with right now is disappointment over my December regain. I (somewhat proudly) thought that I could at least maintain my weight or possibly lose again, like I did last Christmas, but the circumstances surrounding this December were crazy enough that I could barely hold on and journal what I DID eat, let alone limit my portions much beyond what I did. I ate sensibly most days, but those days consisted of a lot of calorically dense food. So I am up around 5 pounds for the month, which is depressing me more than I'd like to admit.

I really thought I was beyond beating myself up for my food, but this regain is fairly upsetting considering how hard-won each pound lost has been. It appears that my journey to self love and acceptance has a ways to go yet, but I know I have improved greatly at least in moving forward and not wallowing (or out and out quitting) after a food slipup, even one of this magnitude.

So all personal disappointment aside, I am picking myself up and dusting myself off with the intention of continuing to march forward, on plan and with my head held high. I am still about 45 pounds down from my highest weight, that is a GREAT loss in '09, and one I look forward to continuing each and every day. Frustrations with Christmas ham notwithstanding, I am in this for LIFE and refuse to let myself forget that.

Onward and Downward in 2010!!!