Yes, you read right! New weight progress shots (finally!), because I had makeup on and a cameraman at the same time :)

I'm still struggling mightily to stay on plan every day and am mostly successful. It's just a challenge in this season of flux with us. I'm not giving up at all, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't more vigilance and work now than it has been in a long time. We're right in the middle of fleshing out a new daily schedule and budget, that alone has us in transition. It's going to be full of good changes, but change (good or bad) has never been something I weather particularly well. I like routine and steadiness, so being in-between has been rough and I think it is subconsciously affecting my eating as much as the psyche-out of being 'normal-ish' (what my brain defines anything under 200 as being).

I'm not being complacent anymore, as I mentioned a few posts back, I'm putting up both fists and fighting my way out of it, but as with all things it will take some time to smooth back out. Tomorrow is a date Peter and I scheduled, complete with leaving Seth with a sitter for the first time, and I am SO excited. But I'm going to have to eat lightly all day to balance the special surprise dinner out inthe evening, and even something I am looking forward to as much as this date is still not 'routine', and therefore causing me some plan issues. If I really had to dissect this beyond my own head game, I'd say it as just another way God is working in my life to bring me into humility and reliance upon him. Because even after two-plus years of this, I don't have this under control of my own power. I'm not beyond struggles, slip-ups, and needing daily prayer to get through the food in a healthy, controlled way. Being a person prone to pride, I am really seeing these struggles as a blessing (albeit a difficult, trying one!) because He isn't allowing me to stray far from my need for His strength in these issues. And knowing God is leading me and at my side throughout the entire day, always near me in my time of need in something even as trivial as eating, gives me amazing peace.

Speaking of God strengthening me, the weight pictures we snapped were from Sunday after Church. The difference in ten pounds has been fairly minor, but over the scope of the journey the physiological changes 60-ish pounds lost has caused is HUGE. And since the previous weight shots that obnoxious baby-streched lower abdomen has smoothed out a noticeable bit. The lump at my waistband is actually the shirt bunching a bit, not fat, and my back fat has also diminished a bit since the last time. Twenty more pounds will have me looking really, really normal, I think. Not small, but not noticeably fat. I still think, in seeing pictures of me, people would class me as a 'big girl' (even though I don't feel like one until I see a photo). However given my proportions, 180 will be a sweet, sweet spot. I'm praying I can make it down there without too much more struggle and pain. We'll see.

Now without further adieu, 198.4!

Here's ten pounds ago:

And to contrast from the beginning, the BIG change!

And now the side shots for some contrast!

I think I look pretty cute, chub and all, and when I look at these pictures I see the shape and face I remember from me teenage years coming back out again. I just need to keep my focus on why I am losing, stay humble and dedicated, and let the scale take care of itself. God willing, I can do this!