Christmastime, I mean.

I really want this season to be over. My social schedule is so uncomfortably busy with any number of food related events and my focus is wavering under the stress and cooking. Some of that, in hindsight, is hormonal. I got my period back at five weeks postpartum, but I thought it may have been some residual bleeding from the birth (definitely not uncommon). But last week confirmed it, the leading was likely the returning of my cycle, as it came back again. How is it that I am so unlucky? I exclusively breastfeed, my kid has never even had a pumped bottle or been away from me, and yet my period returns abnormally early while formula-feeding friends don't get theirs for almost a year? Bummer, either way, and the hormonal shifts cause terrible sugar and carb cravings that I didn't recognize until they had passed, and thus wasn't steeling myself against. These cravings hitright in the middle of massive required baking, and my urge to snack on the junk while cooking and then again at the events was shockingly powerful.

I don't know how much of my gain is water retention, but I definitely wasn't on plan for a few evenings this past weekend. Oh well. While I am frustrated with myself and so tired of eating outside my home, I can't change what has happened. I am just looking forward to all of this junk being over and not having the temptation. I can manage without falling completely off the wagon, but it is still psychologically stressful to keep having so much extra junk shoved at me with few healthy options. I feel no shame in wishing to avoid the temptations completely, rather than being confronted with them and forcing myself to turn away ;)

So yes, the weight. Up to 208.0 from this morning, down from over 210 of salt bloat yesterday. I have a Christmas dinner, cookie social, and office Christmas part left to go (the office party is all the way in January). I am just focusing on keeping on plan every day I can, and will deal with the events as judiciously as possible when they roll around. I still have a lot of weight to shed this year, and every desire to do it. I'm not worried about these events causing uncontrollable backslides with eating, but they are little setbacks that are obnoxious, to say the least!

Be over already!